Corona - The Virus, Not the Beer

February 29, 2020

I don’t know if we’re headed for a pandemic or not. I believe the health officials when they warn us of the danger of the Coronavirus. They should know what they’re talking about. They certainly know a lot more about it than Mike Pence, who has just been placed in charge of making sure we’re prepared for it. After all, when I think of where to go for information on the virus, the first name I think of is Mike Pence.

While we need to be concerned and remain vigilant, I’m not panicking yet. Last year, the CDC estimates that over 60,000 people died of the flu. As of today, one person has died of the Coronavirus. I’m far more worried about the flu.

My big concern is that I don’t hear very much coming out of Washington over how we should prepare ourselves against the virus. So far today, I’ve washed my hands 738 times and I don’t have the virus so I guess its working. If I know someone is sick, I stay away from them. I think that’s working too. I have plenty of vodka and bourbon and I explain to Louise that its medicinal. (I’m not sure she believes me).I have about a month’s supply of rice in my pantry and the freezer is full of food. Oh yes, my gas tank is also full. Yup, I’m ready.

The stock market is tanking and, for once, I’m glad I wasn’t in the market. Imagine what will happen if new cases and deaths are found in New York, Chicago or Los Angeles. Everything will grind to a halt and I won’t be leaving my house at all. I don’t think masks will completely help. We’re running into a shortage of masks since most of them are made in China and China isn’t exporting them because they need them first. Again, according to the CDC, wearing a mask won’t protect you very much from getting the virus. If you already have the virus, a mask will help prevent other people from getting sick, but its too late for you.

The disease kills mostly old people and people with compromised immune systems. I’m both. I also live in Florida which is chocker block full of those people. If the disease hits Florida it might not be long before the Seminoles can have the whole state back.

In my mind, I keep seeing the Monty Python routine of the Black Death. They run through the streets with carts to carry the dead away. They bring one old guy out and toss him in the cart. All the while he’s telling them that he’s not dead. They respond with “yes you are, you just don’t know it yet.” If they come for me and I’m not dead, then hopefully they will leave me alone. No guarantees though and I suspect that the Lovely Louise will be the first one to dump me on the cart or bury me under the tomatoes. A less than glorious end.

A recent survey by ABC News found that 38% of beer drinkers would not drink Corona beer under any circumstances. My big concern is that we let these people breed and vote.

While I don’t know if the Coronavirus is going to affect me personally or not, I will tell you what I’m doing about it. I don’t go where there are large crowds. This is not a problem since I don’t like large crowds anyway. I do wash my hands a lot and I’m very careful about public restrooms. I have plenty of water and food in the house. I have also mentioned my supply of booze since I don’t believe the virus can survive in a body that’s flooded with alcohol. I’ll let you know if this works or not. In the meantime, I suspect that beer and wine will work also. Just make sure its not Corona in case 38% of beer drinkers are right. I keep the truck and the boat filled with gas. Not sure why, but it seems like a good idea. If it hits here, maybe I can take the boat to Key West.

Finally, I really do hope that our government has a plan to protect us. Its one of the things government is supposed to do, but I don’t have a lot of faith in the one we currently have. In any event, be aware, be safe and we’ll get through it. I just remembered that I have to wrap my house in plastic and shrink wrap. That should do it.

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