Washington

February 28, 2017

We Need to Give Everyone in Washington a Time Out.


I don't know about you, but I'm even more sick of Washington now than I was during the election that Hillary lost because the Russians sent a couple of college dropouts to America to hack into our voting machines and switch votes from Hillary to “The Donald.”

Wait, what do you mean they didn't do that? They must have, I saw it on Facebook.

The Democrats wanted James Comey fired until he got fired. Then . . . not so much.

Hillary still thinks that if the election had been held on October 27, she'd be president.

President Trump wants a travel ban that's not a travel ban because it's actually just a ban on travel.

Jeff Sessions is running around Washington saying we have to believe him—he didn't do anything because he doesn't know anything.

Nancy Pelosi still thinks we need to pass the Affordable Care Act so we can find out what's in it.

Chuck Schumer just hates everyone, including his friends.

Chuck Todd, the moderator of Meet The Press, still can't figure out anything at all.

Bill Maher isn't politically correct after all, since he used the “N” word.

Rosie O'Donnell is so fed up . . . she's actually fed up.

Donald Trump, Jr. and Eric Trump should simply be sent to a galaxy far, far away.

Ivanka can stay, now that she’s dropped the price of her clothes and they're selling again.

President Obama is making millions on the lecture circuit and is probably the happiest American alive now that he's out of Washington. I don't blame him.

We're out of the worst deal in recent memory—the Paris Accords. So what happens? Governors are jumping on board saying their states will sign up because if it's a bad deal for the federal government, the states should definitely sign on.

States are passing laws allowing you to carry a concealed weapon even if you don't have a permit because “the bad guys don't have permits either.”

North Korea is setting off missiles like it's the Fourth of July in North Korea. Yes, they have a Fourth of July in North Korea. They also have a Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh of July.

It's not just here in America. Theresa May read polls in England that said the Tories had a 20-point lead, so she decided to call for an election. Ah, not so fast there, Terri—you got bushwhacked!  

Germany's pissed off at us, but that's okay because I just saw on television that Romania remains solidly behind us and thinks they and the rest of NATO should pay their back taxes. If they do, it will probably be with American foreign aid.

The New York Times lies. The Washington Post lies. Breitbart lies all the time, and Bill Cosby's probably going to be a guest of the state for a very long time.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting damn tired of it.
 

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