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Pet Peeves

No coffee in the morning. Running out of coffee is the worst sin possible. It doesn't matter that I'm the one who does the shopping; it is everyone's responsibility to make sure there's coffee for me in the morning. It does me no good to get mad at myself, so I'm going to get mad at you if we run out. Be warned.

  • Someone taking the last beer or soda from the refrigerator without replacing it. I don't drink warm beer or soda. Unforgivable.

  • The contest in the shower to see how small a sliver of soap can get before one of us replaces it with a new one. Sometimes this is just me against me.

  • No gas in the truck or car. It is not a contest to see how far you can drive with the empty fuel light on. It freaks me out when the car has less than half a tank. You know who you are.

  • Someone sitting in my seat in the living room. Don't they know?

  • Leaving your flip-flops right in front of the door so I can trip over them when I go outside. Just so you know, I don't have any life insurance.

  • Dirty dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher. Is it so hard?

  • Shirts that shrink in the closet when you haven't worn them in a while. What makes them shrink?

  • What number do I have to press to speak with a person?

  • When I ask where you'd like to go for dinner and you respond by asking where would I like to go. I don't care. If I did, I would have suggested a specific place.

  • I don't care what color anything is. I'm freaking color blind, okay?

  • I don't care about furniture at all. Give me a beanbag, a giant color TV, a light to read by, and maybe a small refrigerator that I can reach without getting up, and I'm good. For me, a cave would work just fine.

  • If I've never been to your house and you've never been to mine, we're probably not really friends. I'm OK with that.

  • What I said is what I said and it's exactly what I meant. No more, no less. When you try to explain what I said, just use my words.

  • You can ask me for help or you can do it yourself. You can't ask me to help and then tell me how to do it.

  • Your priorities are not necessarily my priorities. You may think it needs to be done immediately, but I may think that anytime in the next few months is just fine. If I'm the one who has to do it, my priorities take priority.

  • I really did hear you the first time. This is me ignoring you.

  • No ice. How can any civilized household function without ice?

  • If you call me and I don't answer and you don't leave a message, then I'm not going to call you back, since it clearly wasn't that important.

  • Having to go back into the house two or three times to grab something you forgot the first time. I know it's my own fault, but it still pisses me off.

  • People who really don't know what they're talking about. Research is so easy to do these days. Take five minutes and check things out before you pronounce them to be the truth. Facebook can make me insane.

  • People who think they can sing. I have some experience with music, including studio time. I know when someone can sing and when they can't. Most people who actually think they can sing actually can't. It hurts my ears.

  • People who are arrogant but can't back it up. Larry Bird was arrogant, but we accepted it because he could back it up (and slam it down your throat as well). Gotta love a guy like that.

  • Political viewpoints. So few of them are based on fact, reason, or critical thinking that I discount most everyone's. Besides, we all know that my views are the right ones.

  • Finally, more than anything, I hate lists.


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