January 10, 2016


I'll probably never completely retire. I like what I'm doing, at least most of the time. Besides, if I retired, what the hell would I do?


I don't really have any hobbies. I enjoy fishing, but I don't want to do it every day. Golf was never really my thing, and I'm too old to play tennis. I'm not really too old to play tennis, but I am too old to play it the way I want to. I used to be a pretty good tennis player. My mind still remembers when I was a very good player, but my body can't deliver anymore. The band Little Feat put it much better than I can when they said, “your mind writes a check your body can't cash.” My body bank is almost out of funds when it comes to competitive tennis.


I have taken up cooking, and as usual, I've gone a little bit overboard. I try to cook everything, and so I'm pretty good with a lot of different types of food, but not really an expert in any one type. I can make a wonderful Thai shrimp stew, a mouthwatering Moroccan lamb tagine, and even a decent rogan josh curry from India. What I need to do is to pick a cuisine and just become an expert in that style. The problem is, I just don't know what to pick. Italian? French? Indian? Not Mexican though: I'm not big on eating beans, and refrying them to me only means you didn't cook them properly in the beginning. Okay, let's leave cooking as a retirement possibility.


How about drinking? When I was younger, I would often head out with the guys for a drink or several. Now the guys head out after work for cocktails at 4:30, and everyone's headed home by 7:00. That doesn't make for much of a night out. Besides, I'm still hearing the same stories I heard thirty years ago. I've given them numbers so when someone starts, I can yell out “17” and everyone knows that story number 17 is on its way. No, I don't think that drinking is how I should spend my retirement.


Chasing women! Now there's something that could be fun. And every once in a while, you might actually catch one. Ah, the hunt never ends. Here's my problem: I'm afraid to ask the Lovely Louise if I can go out and chase women. I'm sure she'd tell me to go right ahead, no problem. I'm also sure that if I did, when I got home all my stuff would be piled on the front lawn in large, green plastic bags and the locks would be changed. Can't chase women, I like my stuff (and Louise).


One of my lifelong fantasies has been to rent a cabin in the middle of the woods on a lake for the winter. I'd lay in a pile of firewood for heat, cases of good bourbon, and all the food I would need. I'd bring 100 of the best books ever written, and I would spend the winter locked up in my little cabin and read every one of them. That's probably not going to happen either, but I still like thinking about it.


Maybe I could start an entirely new career? I like to cook. I could open a restaurant. No, that would be one of the dumbest moves ever. Perhaps I should buy a business and expand it? Nope, that sounds too much like going back to work. I could be an investor in a small business. I could loan them money for a percentage of the business and then use my expertise to help them grow. I could be the new Kevin O'Leary in my own personal Shark Tank in Southwest Florida. Hmm . . . some possibilities there.


At the moment, my retirement looks like this: I continue working as I've always done. I take time when I need to so I can fish, play tennis, golf, cook, and travel when I want to. That's what I've been doing, and it's been working so far. That's why I'm not going to retire. It can't be any better than the way I live right now.



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